Comments Made During the Contest

Adrienne Jorgensen (Level 4)

I thought that this was very cute. I really enjoyed the music.

The mom bit was cute. I knew that it being a teenage daughter would have been too obvious, so part of me was waiting for the reveal. I thought that it worked.

I enjoyed the acting.

I might change the still that shows on the screen before the the short begins, though.

Andrew Zhou (Level 3)

Sigh, sadly I read the script before, so I wasn't taken by the uppercut ending.
But very very nicely done. I definetly like the ending where the pictures are shown. I think that leaves the audience less confused than the original script. Yet I don't think the ending voicemail from the mother was necessary.

The camera work needs to be a little more stable, and audio could be cleaned up a bit.

Otheriwse, very nicely done. Rated Very Good

Audrey Webb (Level 5)

The punchline of the whole movie is that it's his mother. I think the impact would be stronger without the added on bit at the end (I mean added beyond what the script supplied) OR cut the final line in the given script and use your added information. As it stands, the impact of the mother calling back is lost because we already know that it's his mother who is causing him such concern.

I liked the playful quality of the music and I enjoyed the actors' performances.

Ayal Pinkus (Level 5)

This movie is AMAZING!!! It should be shown at film festivals. There is literally nothing I could think could be improved.

The acting was superb!

The warm yellowish glow given to the scene gave the movie its sense of playing in the night, and giving it a sense of warmth. A homely scene.

Staging was perfect, the image compositions were simply stunning. The division of the surface into abstract areas was perfectly executed in each and every shot. Wow what stunning camera work! Every shot was a work of art.

The story, the dialog, everything just perfect. The surprise ending, mother, was absolutely brilliant, and especially the voice mail was hilarious!

Words fail me. Sheer perfection. I honestly think you are ready for the big time.

Bill Clar (Level 5)

Score: The opening music has a fun, energetic beat that matches the film's tone.

Audio: The dialogue has an echo. This is common when using the microphone on the video camera. Did you use a boom mic? If you did use a boom, then you may need to cover the walls with a carpet to reduce the echo.

Lighting: The lighting is soft and warm but it's a little too dim. I can still the details in the actors' faces so it's not an issue.

One concern: the background wall, mark 1:37, is too dark. Jose's dark hair blends in and we can't make out his hairline. A common Hollywood trick is to shine a small light on the back of the actor's head. This light gives us contrast and makes the actor stand out from the background.

Acting: Jose and Esposa are terrific. They make a believable couple and have good comedic timing.

Subtitles: A couple of spelling errors: "you're" instead of "your" at 1:11.

Production design: The house looks and feels like a loving home. Family photos, flowers, etc. It looks good.

Script: The script is good. The dialogue is well written and the ending is funny. I didn't see that coming at all.

Editing: All the cuts appeared smooth. None appeared jumpy.

Brian Howell (Level 5)

Simply wonderful. I loved it! I never the saw the twist coming and when it did I was laughing. The acting was perfect. Technically everything was in order. It was a little pixely, but that could be the camera quality or even a rendering issue. Anyway, I looked past that very easily because you had me so engaged in the film.

A slight word to the wise... when putting subtitles, it sometimes helps to put a drop shadow on the lettering, that helps the words stick out a little better. Again, no big deal.

the music selection was awesome for this too.

Simply EXCELLENT! I loved it.

Brian Wind (Level 5)

Script - Wow, another script that originated before I showed up here at MoviePoet. I kind of enjoy watching a few of these films with absolutely no expectations whatsoever. 0/0

Performances - Hard to tell because they are speaking Spanish, but their body language and facial expressions were good. 3/5

Cinematography - The camera appears to be pretty low grade. The lighting could have been a lot better. The film is dark and the actor's aren't always lit up when speaking. 2/5

Sound - Audio appears to be pretty level throughout. A few of the FX could have been better leveled, such as the crash in the kitchen (louder) and the phone ringing (quieter). 2.5/5

Editing - The pace and transitions are smooth. For this film, I am adding subtitles to this category as well. They were spot on with one exception. "It's passed 11:30pm" should be "It's past 11:30pm" but aside from that, subtitles were good. 3/5

Score - I'm pretty sure the only score here is during the intro and end credits, but the music is appropriate to the film and professional sounding. 4/5

Direction - Despite the lack of professional equipment, I can tell that the director has talent. There are some nice shots in here and I can appreciate the fact that you didn't go the easy route and stick with a stationary camera the whole time. The reveal is perfectly executed. Nice work. One of the strong points of the film for sure. 4/5


Script - 0/0
Performances - 3/5
Cinematography - 2/5
Sound - 2.5/5
Editing - 3/5
Score - 4/5
Direction - 4/5
Overall = 18.5/30 = 3.08/5 = GOOD

Caroline Coxon (Mod Emeritus)

First few seconds and I already like the actors!

I thought this was excellent in every way - I had forgotten the twist at the end.

Everything about it was professionally achieved.

Bravo. An excellent from me.

Chris Keaton (Level 5)

Ok, it was his mom he was worried about. That was a really long joke for a short punchline. It really didn't need to be that long. He could've gotten more furious quicker then got to the punchline faster. It took a second to realize it was his mom even after the lady said it, but that might be because I was reading.

Overall a nice film.

Chris Messineo (Founder)

SCRIPT: Great script. I still remember it well from our very first contest. It feels like we've seen this a dozen times before and then the lovely twist at the end can't help but make you smile. It's also very cool how this story translates into any language. :)

PERFORMANCES: The actors are wonderful. Their performances are subtle and nuanced. Great stuff.

CINEMATOGRAPHY: The look is very professional. The compositions are interesting. Lovely lighting.

SOUND: I never noticed the sound - which is the best compliment.

EDITING: Great editing. I love the pacing and choice of shots - lots of wonderful reactions.

SCORE: The music fits perfectly and helps give the story mood and tone.

DIRECTION: The direction is great. Very professional.

OVERALL: I love this film. I have one complaint - the director should not have added themselves to the screenwriting credits. Changing a line or two (or even translating) does not make someone a screenwriter. Still, this is an excellent film and I enjoyed it very much. Congratulations to everyone.

David Birch (Level 5)

nice that you used an "ethnic" component by making it a foriegn language film...maybe they'll have a seperate category (just like the oscars)...the acting seemed very natural and realistic...good job all around...suerte!

David Laffey (Level 3)

Good acting, pretty intense, I liked the energy put forth as well. I kind of wish that the topic of the conflict evolved a little bit instead of always staying on the same subject of the daughter coming home at 12. Perhaps if you played more with the sexual tension or the problems or marital issues between the two characters it might be more intense and interesting. I did enjoy the characters and I felt they each had personality, but I would have liked to see some more visuals as well, like maybe a picture of the daughter or a goofy/scary image of her date. I think you had the opportunity to experiment a little more with the story, maybe take a chance with a flashback or a series of funny shots or something. Also in terms of the story presented I don't see how anything was really resolved, it's funny because it's only 11:30, but if it was 12:30 the situation could be worse or more interesting to watch.

David Schroeder (Level 1)

'The Curfew" misses the mark with me. The dramatic situation of parents waiting for their daughter out past her curfew does not pay off. The dialogue is too 'on the nose,' without any sub-text, nuance or humor. There is some possibility of sexual tension between the husband and wife, but again, there is no pay off or laughter. Just my opinion, but no pay off.

Elias Farnum (Level 5)

I watched this short with my wife, and she nailed the twist from the beginning, but that's okay, I wouldn't have. Cute story, reminds me of a few others, but then again, I think it is good material to work with. Old people doing things that reverse roles. Good job.

The actors were fun, they had me hooked. And the lines sounded smooth and natural even though my Spanish is not entirely fluent. I love the fire that comes through with foreign languages. Emotional, and good for the humor.

The sound had no issues, and the score fit perfectly, love it.

The editing, and pacing was great. The shots, and angles were enough, this was really cute. The director got everybody on the same page for sure. Good job, I was entertained, thank you, and good luck. I bet this one does well. My wife liked it even more, and she figured the twist.

Faith Friese Nelson (Level 5)

I really enjoyed this film. Excellent job. The actors did what was expected from them, drawing me into the story, and the twist at the end was unexpected.

Fred Koszewnik (Level 5)

A charming and very clever film with a completely unexpected twist at the end. Couldn't see that coming at all. The only criticism is that it felt just a bit heavy on the dialogue. The actors felt believable and fit their roles well. Congratulations on a fine piece.

Heather O'Connell (Level 4)

Nice opening music. Picture is a bit grainy. It fits the mood, though. And there is some echo to the sound. The acting is great, it seems very real. The twist is funny, and I love the end. The subtitles were well done - I followed it easily. Nice upbeat music had a fun feel to it. Great story. I really enjoyed this one.
:) Heather

Heidtmann Oppong (Level 4)

Well cool, though was a little confused and saw no premise, as in the overall logic behind the video especially. But reading it a second and a third time i think it was cool. I enjoyed it late but all the same good job.

Herman Chow (Level 5)

Script: I reviewed this a long time ago and I thought it was good. It was comedic when you know about the punchline at the end. But it didn't quite hold up because without the punchline, the story is pretty normal.

Performances: Both the husband and wife are pretty good. I think I like the husband more, his reaction is a little exaggerated but fits the tone of the story.

Cinematography: Nothing outstanding, serviceable. But I particularly liked the last shot of the photographs where the mother is shown over her voice on the answering machine.

Sound: Loud and clear, for the most part. I didn't quite hear the car door that the husband mentioned in the beginning though.

Editing: Nothing jarring, nothing stands out. So I think it's good overall.

Score: I liked the score at the beginning and the end of the film. You can tell we're in for a comedy instead of a family drama by the score.

Direction: Good direction of the shots, the actors, etc.

VERY GOOD.

James Hughes (Level 5)

This was one of my favorites for the month. There was a lot of camera movement, a lot of different shots, movement of actors which kept the film alive and interesting even though it takes place in a small space. The small movements of the camera when it pans up from the phone to reveal them on the couch, when she wraps her leg around him, when she sits and stands, when he stands up in the kitchen and the camera slowly moves in. The way they move from window to couch, room to room, etc. When he walks offscreen at the end disappearing at the top of the screen. All of this was nice to watch.

The sound was good, the music fit nicely and came up and down appropriately. It gave the film a fun feel.


The acting was very good as well. I liked when he said he didn't mean to be picky.

James Resendes (Level 2)

Excellent job. I loved it. The premise was so simple, but something everyone can totally relate to. And the fact that it was his mother he was waiting for made the entire thing a bit of a comedic feel, when throughout you were expecting anger. Also, I think the fact that it was done in Spanish, and NOT English, made it even better. I feel like this scenario just wouldn't work for an English family, but the Spanish somehow makes it work. Again, nicely done. Fantastic film.

Jamie Collins (Level 3)

Great short. I thought they were talking about their daughter the whole time until it was revealed at the end that they were talking about his mother. Nice unexpected twist. It changed the whole dynamic of the story.

Jeannie Sconzo (Level 5)

Good actors - I enjoyed watching their chemistry.
I think she could have punched the tell tale line a bit more though.
Great story.

JeanPierre Chapoteau (Moderator)

First impression: Funny.

Directing: This was nicely directed, but I think it went on for too long. It should have been like 4 minutes. It should have ended before he went into the kitchen. And when you focused on him in the kitchen, that was weird.
- The captions would pop up too late too. I didn't like that.
- I really liked that last scene when the director focused on the pictures and the phone. Nice touch.

Sound: Everything was fine. I didn't notice anything unusual, so it was okay.

Acting: I said this in a previous review; actors in another language are always top notch in my book, because I don't know what they are supposed to sound like :)

Music: It fit this script perfectly. I have no complaints. This is the first script that I thought you should have added music during the dialogue at some points. I don;t know when, but it was needed. And I hardly say that.

Story: I remembered reading this script before, and I remembered the end towards the middle of it. I wish I hadn't, but I did. It's a great story. I'll give this a VG.

Kenneth Hurd (Level 4)

I really liked this short! Your actors both do an excellent job and really pulled me in with their performances. Your script works perfectly and it has a nice twist! The entire film I thought they were referring to their daughter, but when it turned out to be his mother, that really surprised me! I looked at the script after watching the short and I'm glad that you added the voice mail at the end of the film. While it's perfectly clear in the script that they're referring to his mother, in the film I didn't fully get it until we see the shot of the answering machine and hear his mother talking. Nice job!

Your cinematography is good and you've got a nice realistic look for a film taking place late at night. I did feel that some of the shots were a bit too dark, but it wasn't anything that was distracting.

Your sound design was clean and clear, the only thing you may want to fix is the phone ringing. I was watching the film with headphones on and the ringing switches from ear to ear. I'm not sure if you were intending for this to happen or if it was an accident.

The movie flows at a great pace and it's over before it overstays its welcome. I think you've got a really good short film here and you should submit it to festivals. Good job!

Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5)

I don't know maybe everything done by foreigners and in a foreign language sounds good but I really liked it.

The story felt a little short, I read the original script and I know it has placed but it still doesn't have enough story for me.

However, it kept me entertained all the way. It certainly has a flavor and the fact that they are Italian contributes because I think they worry about curfews and such there more than here, in the States or let's say in the UK.

Really good progression and I didn't get tired of the same thing said over and over since actors did a great job. The sound and cinematography - no complains from me, the movie looks really professional.

Thanks for the entertainment. Excellent

Kirk White (Level 5)

very cute and lots of fun. could use a tightening of the pace but other than that, a solid film...

KP Mackie (Level 5)

A funny story. Never saw the punchline coming. The script did a great job stringing the viewer along that Jose Rivera is worried about his daughter. Particularly like his questions, "Who pays the bill around here? Who pays for her car? Who puts a roof over her little head?" Well done.
The two actors who portray Jose and Mrs. Rivera respectively, Luis and Lourdes, are very talented. The singular location, amount of dialog, subtitles, and surprise twist puts pressure on the actors to deliver. They did a terrific job. Nice guitar music at the beginning and end.

Margaret Avnet (Level 4)

I love the fact that it turns out to be the mother of the main character who is out on a date and that you don't find that out until almost the end of the movie.

I think I would have had him panic a little when the phone rings. I always get nervous when the phone rings after a certain time at night.

The actors did a very good job as well as the director and cinematographer. The writer did an excellent job getting into the pysche of someone who is worried about a loved one being out too late.

The subtitles were a bit distracting but I'm not really one who watches a lot of movies with subtitles.

Margaret Ricke (Level 5)

I loved this! The acting is some of the best I've seen so far, and I'm about half way through.

The lighting could have been a lot better. The shadows were a bit thick. Other than that, though, this was really fun. I loved that I'd read the script and it didn't matter - I was still surprised that it was the mom...

Very good work.

Marko Trcic (Level 2)

Excellent choice of music, I think that here there are few problems with the camera, editing, and actors, the lighting is OK, I think it should be framed a little better camera, and it seems to me that the editing is a little awkward, should be allowed to complete the movement but after the movement should be immediately cut, and not leave empty space, without any meaning, all together a good

Marnie Mitchell Lister (Level 5)

This was highly entertaining. I loved the actors too. Didn't even mind the subtitles. I do think the banter between the husband and wife could be cut a little. IMO it went on a tad too long. If it were a little shorter I think it would add to the comedy. Nice job team!!!!

Martin Jensen (Level 5)

There were a few translation issues with the subtitles.

This was funny. The argument grew in a natural way until the twist. The vague way they referred to "her" at the beginning could have been conspicuous, but it was acted well and was convincing.

Very good.

Martin Lancaster (Level 4)

Ha! I'm sure I've seen this before in another language which kind of spoiled the twist. But I thought this was very well done. Your actors are great and it's a very clever story. It's also nice to see some international flair among the MP films.

Very good!

Matias Caruso (Level 5)

Oh, in Spanish, cool. Fun twist at the end, didn't see it coming. The score fits perfectly the tone of the piece.

Just one grip: the initial argument felt a bit repetitive and it stretches over past the 3 minute mark. I feel like the point can be made in half the time to better the pace of the piece.

Still, good job Richard (and the cast and crew of course).

Michael Cornetto (Level 5)

I thought that was great. Well done. I liked the fact that it was done in Spanish - it seemed to lend it an extra air of authenticity.

MJ Hermanny (Level 5)

Ha! This is great! I didn't know the script amd laughed out loud at the punchline.

I love that it's in Spanish - your actors are wonderful, all that emotion is just fab and really heightens the humour.

The music is lovely, fits it really well, I like the subdued lighting and everything flows together well.

Very good job, well done

Nina Lescher (Level 2)

A good idea that would be awesome if (1) you would have raised the stakes. One possibility is if the couple did try to make love but the husband just couldn't get into it. How does his obsession with his mother affect his relationship? (2) If you would have had the mother show up instead of been brought up in conversation. That was the climactic reveal--that it was the Mom not a daughter-- and it was delivered in an anti-climactic way. Having the Mom call to change the time to 3 or 4am doesn't do much for the story.

Paul De Vrijer (Level 5)

The Spanish really adds to this piece. Makes it really cutesy. Just the entire atmosphere fits well. Really stylish piece. Course the camera work and the lighting could be a bit better, but it's never annoying. There's loads to improve were this an American production, but I feel like the low-budget foreign angle really punctuated the story here. Very homey. And the music really adds to that light-hearted feeling. Very good. I totally believe the wife and husband.

Wife's thoughts: The music in the beginning instantly grabbed me. Makes me happy the moment it starts. The quality of the camera and of the angles is a bit low and because it's filmed later on the day you get some noise. Nice dialog between them, really typical married-banter. I like how optimistic the wife is, both in lines and acting. I think the house could have been a bit more 'Spanish'. I do like the face that you get the feeling that this is a neighborhood where everybody knows everyone. Think the editing really adds to the film, like not showing the accident in the kitchen. I really like the twist, and the little extra bit where his mother calls back surrounded by all the pictures.

Paul Williams (Level 5)

Hey Rich, I love that this was produced en espanol. It's universal subject matter, so it works in a different language.

This is one of those stories hinged to the twist, so the preceding 4-5 minutes has to be engaging, which is often tough to do, but I think you accomplish that effectively with your script and its translation to screen.

Could the twist work better with the mother actually arriving home and the audience seeing that they've been talking about an older woman, not a teen girl? Maybe, but the photos at the end work, too.

In the end, this is a great example of low/no budget film-making from a competent script.

Very Good!

Philip Whitcroft (Level 5)

This is an amusing simple drama that works well. I like the color and lighting work and the actors did a solid job of it.

Perhaps because I've read a lot of short scripts I could see the twist coming from a long way off. It still works fine but I guess I was hoping for something surprising.

Rich Keel (Level 4)

Hahahahaha...I loved the ending. When the wife(Muey Caliente! by the way) said "Your Mother is an intelligent woman." I did not get...but then the message and pictures were perfect!!!! Nice!

Lighting - seemed pretty good except when they went to the kitchen. Turned to the nasty yellow...which might have been intentional. Doesn't hurt the film just something I noticed.

Sound - Echoey throughout - not sure if you recorded from an onboard mic or not. Again nothing major just pointing it out

Direction - very well done. I enjoyed the shots and the overall feel. One shot I thought went a little long was the one of the Dad in the kitchen listening to the wife on the phone...just after he throws out the garbage. Could;ve cut there instead of sticking around for another 3 seconds - Minor.

Music - Fit the mood and film very Well.

Acting - I could not tell since it was in a different language. So I don;t know the timing and whatnot from their voices...but they were enjoyable to watch. So I am guessing they did a good job :)

Overall and VERY GOOD film!
Good luck to you this month.

Sally Meyer (Moderator)

I really loved this. I knew where it was going, about half way through, (didn't read the script first, this time) but it still was great.

The actors were really strong. The setting was good. Pacing a little slow at times. But still very enjoyable.

I liked the ending, it added a nice touch when the phone was ringing.

One thing that would have sold it just a tad more would be (imho) to leave out the part where the wife says his mother is an intelligent woman. You don't need that line because of the ending, where we finally see who they are talking about.

Very fun story and I connected to your characters immediately.

Nice job. I gave it a very good.

Shawn Cottrill (Level 3)

I didnt really care for this. THe acting was okay at best. Camera work was so so.
But the story just did'nt really go anywere. there was no good high points or low points.

I just dont know why anyone would ever want to see this.

Stan Tjaden (Level 3)

thoroughly enjoyed the actors and their portrayal of the story. Good cinematography and lighting. Sound superb and score seemed to blend in with what was going on. Did not care for the ending at all. Again, I liked the two main actors.

Stephen Brown (Level 5)

Good production value and I thought both actors performed well. A decent twist that raised a smile.

For me, this goes on too long. It got a little boring and repetitive for me which simply cutting the length down would solve.

Overall, a nice, light-hearted short.

Travis DeStein (Level 5)

Maybe it was the Spanish, but this had the best acting I've seen in the entire contest. The dialogue was very natural and fluid. This feels like it should be a viral video on youtube. The twist at the end was cute, but I think it could be so much better if you revealed it in a more visual way. Having the wife reveal it through dialogue is just so plain and boring. I also think this could be a lot shorter, it starts to drag when the dad starts fiddling around in the kitchen.

Anyways, this was a fun little movie. Great job!

Trent Carroll (Level 4)

I'm very elated that I didn't read the screenplay for this short film before I watched the film. The characters were well developed and the ending was perfect for this short piece. This is my favorite short film from the simplicity of the plot to the underlying characterization. The writer of this piece and the filmmaker who brought it to life deserve credit for effectively taking control of the audience's presumptions and making a worried son appear to be a worried father. It's so well done that I'm actually watching it again before I continue watching the rest. To restate everything simply this was, in my opinion, the best short film submitted.

Wayne Morrical (Level 4)

Nice piece. Moved pretty well. Shots were composed well, cut well. Music was good. Acting was good. Could have used a little more attention to the lighting: seemed underlit in most scenes. Shadow from Jose in kitchen was unnatrual. Saw the payoff coming about halfway through, so I think 25% could be cut out. Would have preferred to see 'Mom' as the surprise instead of just having the wife say it: or cut out the wife's line about mother and end with the phone call and the photos by the answering machine. In general great video.

Wes Worthing (Level 5)

Well, this was a very pleasing script years ago, and this is the first time I've watched the film. I think unsuspecting viewers would get a big kick out of this story just as the Movie Poet reviewers did. Not crazy about clarity of the visual, but the actors were great/realistic. The bouncy music matched the tone of the story. I think I could watch these characters through a feature.

William Bienes (Mod Emeritus)

This is one of my favorite MoviePoet scripts and I think the filmmaker did a decent job with it.

The story came across well (even as a foreign film - to me, of course:)

The direction was solid, though the shots were uneven at times.

The lighting could be a bit better, the picture looks yellow and appears almost grainy because of it -- though it is not. The sound -- while very clear, it almost seems harsh, stark, as if it needs to be softened (best way I can describe it) somewhat.

I thought the acting was solid and I enjoyed this film.

William D. Prystauk (Level 5)

Cute, great tone, well-acted and a great finish. Most importantly, the story overall was wonderful and fun. Wonderful!

Comments Made After the Contest

Chris Messineo (Founder) ~ 1/1/2011 12:22 AM

Congratulations on the HM. I loved this. Maybe my favorite actors in the whole fest. I also loved how well this story works in any language.

Margaret Ricke (Level 5) ~ 1/1/2011 12:28 AM

This was so well done! Excellent script and great production! Congratulations!

Richard Bell (Level 3) ~ 1/1/2011 1:22 PM

Chris - thanks to you and all at moviepoet for the generous comments - I'm honored to receive the HM. There were so many great productions and scripts. As I've said many times before, but needs to be said again, your efforts in ALL facets of screenwriting and filmmaking and this website and your own films are truly amazing - I honestly don't know how you find the time and energy to do it all. Best wishes in the coming year and can't wait to read your new feature!

Richard Bell (Level 3) ~ 1/1/2011 1:25 PM

Margaret - thanks so much - coming from you, I feel specially honored. Have a great new year!

Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5) ~ 1/1/2011 2:55 PM

That's a wonderful movie! Too bad I'm limited to only 3 favs.

Rich Keel (Level 4) ~ 1/1/2011 3:46 PM

I loved this one alot too...glad to see others liked it as well :)

Sally Meyer (Moderator) ~ 1/1/2011 5:15 PM

Congratulations, this was a really great script. I enjoyed it. The acting was good and the story was really good. The actors were great!!!

Paul Williams (Level 5) ~ 1/1/2011 6:21 PM

Hey, my-man, Rich! I knew a great script can be written without goofing on cops! Just kidding with you.

I loved that this was produced in Spanish. Congratulations on the Honorable Mention.