Comments Made During the Contest
Amanda Sidorowicz (Level 4)
This was pretty good, although the last line confused me. I get that they can't talk after being orally castrated, but I'm not used to hearing that term in that context. I would hope that by the fourth criminal spitting out blood and the cut to black means they lashed out at Dr. Fuller, but I'm still a bit confused. That's okay, though, because I get confused easily, and I won't base my scores on that.Some thoughts...Sound - Really good. Audio is clear. I would have liked to hear some music, though. Editing/Directing - I like the effect in the beginning, like they're on camera. The shot at the end with the blood coming out of the guy's month was pretty awesome as well. It was edited well together -- no obvious mistakes or anything. Set - The main room works perfectly. All the other locations work well. I like the shot of the kids walking to school. It's the perfect location, and the shot is set up well.Acting - Very good. The first guy yelling at his kid is pretty realistic. Script - Just read it. I like that you decided to allow other characters talk. It definitely adds to the piece. Having the woman say orally castrated instead of reading it on a note was a great change.Overall, I enjoyed this. I would like to see a bit more clarification, but besides that, this was well done. Great job to all involved!
Andrew Zhou (Level 3)
I liked the original script, and your camera work was really good as well. However, I just felt that aside from the third convict, the crimes weren't focused on their "verbal" crimes. THe first one I can see how it would be "verbal" crime (being abuse), but it should be emphasized. The second one, I don't see how that would be considered a verbal crime (or like the original script where her tounge was bit off). BUt otherwise, good job :D
Ayal Pinkus (Level 5)
Superb movie! Should be shown on film festivals. wow what a cast! Acting was good. Costumes. Location. Everything was perfect.Subtle staging, where the person in power at that moment towered over the the one with less power. So alternately the psychologist or one of the prisoners were raised. This was done systematically.The surprising story twist is great.It is actually great to watch this movie the second time, makes it almost comical.The title is a little bit too generic for my taste.Well done!
Bill Clar (Level 5)
Script: The overall story doesn't click with me. Removing a person's ability to talk will not stop them from being abusive. The ending also felt anti-climactic. What difference does it make if the convicts were already castrated? Dr. Fuller is against the procedure but she still has a job to do. Post-ops probably need rehabilitation the most. Acting: The convicts look gruff and mean. They definitely look like the kind of guys I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. They only had a few lines but they come across as aggressive.Dr. Fuller does a good job. She sounds professional and to the point. The lady on the phone sounds like she's reading straight from the script.Lighting: It's flat. All the scenes are evenly lit and nothing stands out. Not the characters or background. If you're relying on ambient lighting then turn on every possible light in the room. Add a few lamps if need be.Cinematography: I like the outside shot of Mike calling the bomb threat. All other scenes are flat. Was Mike's scene filmed by a different DOP?Score: The score is subtle but menacing. It fits the tone of the film.
Brian Howell (Level 5)
VERY GOOD. Kind of a haunting look into the future of corrections. I thought everybody played their character right. Especially the doctor, she was so cold and professional, just as I would imagine a therapist working in the penal system.Technically, this was very sound. It looked good, the shots were well framed. A little movement on the handheld stuff, but not too bad.My one hesitation comes from the abrupt ending. So they were orally castrated? Yeah, that explains why they wouldn't talk, but it was so abrupt.Anyway, nice work - VERY GOOD!
Brian Wind (Level 5)
Script - I gave the original script a Fair. My main comments were that the script was too text heavy and that the ending didn't add up to me. 2/5Performances - The lead actress does a good job. The 4 inmates were all sufficient. Nothing award winning, but nothing laughably bad either. 3/5Cinematography - The camera appears to be pretty high quality. Lighting is good. Set design seemed a bit odd. The room they are holding their session in has stains running down all of the walls. Not at all the type of sterile environment I'd expect. 4/5Sound - The audio is leveled pretty well throughout. I didn't really notice any added sound FX at all. 3/5Editing - I thought the forced kiss scene with Julius went a few seconds too long. After a brief second or too, one can't help but wonder why she doesn't resist more because it begins to look like they're just kissing. That scene should have ended before she started resting her arm on his shoulder. I also felt like the session scene was too silent, like the doctor would have realized right away something was up. I felt like the orally castrated guys should have still been making some sounds, grunts, snorts, coughs, etc... Transitions and pace were pretty good though. 2/5Score - Extremely minimal. A few warped chords under the opening monologue and some distorted moans of pain over the end credits. I liked the warped chords sounds more than the melodramatic music during the flashbacks and think they should have been incorporated more throughout. I think it may have helped set a creepier tone for the film. 2/5Direction - I liked the flashback shot through the window as well as the shot of the guy calling in the bomb threat but beyond those two shots, everything was pretty average. I didn't like the shot at all that starts in Julius's crotch and pans up. 3/5Script - 2/5Performances - 3/5Cinematography - 4/5Sound - 3/5Editing - 2/5Score - 2/5Direction - 3/5Overall = 19/35 = 2.71/5 = GOOD
Caroline Coxon (Mod Emeritus)
I find this tough because I'm sure that a therapist would never ever do this - speak about a prisoner's offence in front of other men - it breaks all sorts of codes - let alone her being ensconced in a tiny room with four violent criminals, so I find it hard to engage with the film at all.Why did the prison officer not mention that they had been orally castrated right from the start?This aside, I liked the sense of claustrophobia. I liked the eerinress exemplified by the soundtrack. I liked the blood coming out of the last prisoner's mouth.The filming, editing, directing, everything was good. I just wish the story had been more credible.I'm giving it a good.
Chris Keaton (Level 5)
Notes along the way.- Why are they in a box?- That girl didn't put up much of a fight.- Oral offenders sounds dirty.Interesting twist, can't say if I read this one. The prisoners responses were a puzzle to me, but overall a nice job.
Chris Messineo (Founder)
SCRIPT: I reread the original script and I wish you had uploaded the rewrite so I could have read that as well. I definitely think the rewrite is stronger, the flashbacks help open up the story and flesh out the characters. Also, I think the phone call is a much better way to convey that final information. However, I still find it hard to believe that she would be alone in a room with these men and even in this alternate future, her dialogue just doesn't sound like a doctor or therapist.PERFORMANCES: I thought the actors were all good. They all certainly looked the part. There isn't a lot of subtext here though. I'm not really sure what to make of this Doctor - is she just really naive?CINEMATOGRAPHY: The camera work is good. The compositions are good. The footage feels a bit videoish (interlaced with lots of artifacts), but I liked the use of color. I'm not sure about the decision to shoot in such a small room though, with those stains all over the walls. It was dramatic, but why would those stains be there?SOUND: The sound is fine. A little hollow and full of echo at times.EDITING: I thought the edit was good too. A few minor quibbles. The Doctor actually reacts a moment before the line, "Doctor, those men are all post-op.". Also, while I love the blood coming out of the patients mouth, I would have ended on a reaction shot from the Doctor. Lastly, I think those groans and grunts at the end, while disturbing, don't actually work that well and I would suggest just using music.SCORE: The music is fine. Ominous and foreboding. It helps support the mood of the piece. I think a little more variety might be even better - especially something different for the ending.DIRECTION: Clearly, a lot of preparation and work went into this and it shows.OVERALL: I liked this. I think with a few small changes it could be very good. Well done.
David Birch (Level 5)
was one of the better acted submissions from this month...lighting was slightly "yellow"...the set didn't really seem like a prison (perhaps a bigger more sterile environment)...most self-help meetings aren't going to cram inmates in that close together (for safety reasons)...but i liked the twist at the end...very typical of the penal system...a decent watch, thanks!!
David Laffey (Level 3)
Nice twist at the end, didn't see that coming and that made this interesting. However we know that oral castration doesn't take place in the Southwest states, so if the setting was like a prison in the middle east or some place like that where extreme punishment actually happens this story could have been more powerful. I actually enjoyed the flashbacks, and thought that the men were good actors in their flashbacks. I was also unsure about the intro., the V.O. of the therapist, I don't know how that helped or made any kind of difference. Thus I think the short could have started sooner. Maybe if the therapist grew slightly frustrated with the men's silence, that could have been interesting as well. I did like how they were silent. Perhaps this story and scene could have been more effective if it was the therapist having a one on one with an inmate, and focused on him, and his story. Having a group therapy session in a high security prison felt a little odd. I feel that the stakes could have been higher too. It was interesting to watch though and I enjoyed the characters.
David Schroeder (Level 1)
'Rehabilitation' is a well crafted story with multiple characters, back story, voice over, inter-cuts. Enough so the the O'Henry twist at the end is satisfying enough. The idea of the 'oral castration,' although not necessarily appropriate for each crime the convicts have commited, is an interesting reason why the convicts were so quiet. This 'quiet' response to the therapist's questions heightens the drama. Nice casting, too.
Elias Farnum (Level 5)
I liked this story, very bizarre. I do find it odd that Dr. Fuller would be left alone with the convicts, but it's okay. You get right into the cases. It's really fun watching this the second time, can really appreciate the facial expressions of the convicts. "Everything said is in confidentiality," LOL. You two make a good writing team. That leads into the performances which are pretty near excellent. Dr. Fuller does a very good job of being just a smidge uncomfortable after reviewing Julius' crime. And the non speaking convicts were perfect.The cinematography was vivid, shots kept moving despite the static interview room. Flashbacks were tight. Editing also, tight.No issues with the sound. The score was a good fit. The moaning, and wailing was a nice touch. This had a little futuristic sci-fi feel to it. Convicted "oral" offenders. Better watch you say. There is certainly a theme here.Damn, this is very good work, very good. Congratulations, this should do very well.
Faith Friese Nelson (Level 5)
Excellent! Just shows you that you don't need a lot of action to pull of a good story. Well done!
Fred Koszewnik (Level 5)
The four actors picked as the convicts couldn't have been selected any more carefully to project people who belong in jail. All four were utterly convincing. The woman playing the doctor didn't hit the emotional notes required of her character. The endind doesn't entirely make sense. Does "oral castration" exist?
Heather O'Connell (Level 4)
Not a lot of change from the original script, but I like the addition of “oral offenders” – that made everything fall into place for me. I’m not sure you needed 4 offenders, of the first 3 could have spit blood. The 4th guy seemed out of place, even though he was the creepiest one. The casting was great. All the men gave me the creeps. The session was believable, and the flashbacks were effective. I had chills. Nice effect on the ear. The music added to the creepiness. Overall, great job.:) Heather
Heidtmann Oppong (Level 4)
I felt as if i was in the interrogation room. In fact i loved Margaret Fuller character. All you guys are great. The scripts, videos and everything looks so professional. I salute Movie poet for this achievement. Any way, good job, nice script and catching video.
Herman Chow (Level 5)
Script: Really, really creepy and haunting with how they treated psychiatric patients. It is a slow burner but it's okay. I enjoyed how the tension keeps building up with each patient and see how it'll turn out in the end. And the ending is a yuck!Performances: Excellent. All of the patients look extremely creepy to me. Dr. Fuller also acted very professionally.Cinematography: The only thing I don't like (it's a nitpick) is the angle of the shot when Dr. Fuller enters the room and sits down. The shot was from above and when Dr. Fuller crosses her legs, it caught my attention. Hey, I'm not a perv, but I thought that's something I should focus on since you had that shot there.Sound: Very nice. I can even hear the "crack" in the beginning when Steve cracks his knuckles.Editing: Good use of editing to show flashback. The voice over was well done.Score: The most haunting part of the film, especially at the end. Still gave me the chills.Wow, I really liked this. EXCELLENT!
James Hughes (Level 5)
I rated this one as Good. I liked the look of the convicts. Some of the shots were cool, especially the one tracking across all of them in the beginning and the shot from outside the window when the dad is yelling at his kid. The music was good. The story, though, seemed to be more setup than story. The way the session is handled didn't seem believable to me but rather a way to show each person's story. Also, the room was cramped which might have limited what could be done while filming. Having a larger space might have made it more natural and given you more ability for camera movement and variety of shots.
Jamie Collins (Level 3)
I liked this film. I don't know if this is based on an actual penal code or not, I looked it up after I saw the film and didn't find anything but it's a nice concept for a film.
JeanPierre Chapoteau (Moderator)
Directing: Excellent job. I loved it. You told the story very fluently and didn't stick to just pointing the camera in one direction. Yeah, you didn't have a fancy camera, but I appreciate the fact that you didn't let that hold you down. You kept that camera moving, giving your stories dramatic effect. i also liked the scene when the guy called in the bomb threat. You saw his hair flowing in the wind as he looked at the kids, and then he turned to make the call. Nice. I did wonder why her ear was flashing like that, and then we heard a voice. I thought the story took a turn and she was some sort of robot. Why wasn't she wearing an ear piece?Music: I only heard it in the beginning. A low 'hum' I thought that fit. I thought you could have gotten rid of the ending screams and hollers. That completely through off the vibe of you film. Acting: The first guy looked like he was smirking the entire time. I thought he was supposed to look like this until I heard his story, then I realized it was just his acting. I really liked when the black guy looked at her and kind of smiled after she read his story and she pulled her skirt down, and then when she kind of turned to the third guy, she gave him one last uncomfortable glance. I thought that was hilarious! And well acted. Story: Didn't get it. Especially with the black guy. He raped the chick, right? How is that an oral offense? If he didn't rape her, he forced himself on her to kiss. That isn't verbal anymore. So why was he Orally castrated? Everyone else I understand, but that through me off, so I couldn't really connect with the entire story. I'll give this a... good.
Jeff Ferry (Level 4)
A very good adaptation of the script. The film moved slowly and I felt just a touch quicker whould have been better. The ending was fantasic of course and made the film and I felt you pulled that off very well.
Kenneth Hurd (Level 4)
You had a nice set up with this one and it really set off an uneasy tone, but I'm not really sure what to make of this one. Why wouldn't the doctor know what treatments these prisoners have had? Also, why would they cut the tongues out of the prisoners? I found that a little confusing. Also, with the way it ended, it seemed like something was about to happen to the doctor, but the credits just started rolling. I felt that there was more to tell here. I do think your actors do a fine job. The ones that don't speak are menacing just by their looks.Your camerawork is for the most part, pretty good. The room was designed well and really added to the atmosphere. I also liked the transitions out of the room and into the flashbacks. It created some nice visuals.Your editing was good, though I think a few more shots during the opening when Dr. Fuller enters the room would have helped establish where we are. I, at first, didn't realize that she was walking into the room with the four prisoners. I think if you could have had a shot looking through the door as Dr. Fuller entered, it would have helped that transition more. That was my only complaint with the editing, everything else was really well done. Your audio was clean and clear and I didn't notice anything that needed to be fixed.I think this is the start of what could be a really good short. There's some interesting ideas here, but I'm a bit confused with the final film.
Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5)
This movie is very well done. You're a great actress, and all the men did a very good job, I think.Acting - ExcellentCinematography - I get it it's the light, and it worked just fine for me. Excellent.Direction - Very Good, as I think the men could be directed to have poker faces on at the beginning. The mid part about the black man kissing the girl - I think the girl should be instructed to fight him a bit. Why is he an oral offender though? I didn't get that. And why the first one is an oral offender? I think the story would be better if all of them did the same as the third man. That one is a clear "oral offense" (if this is the legal term for it). Not exact same thing but something very similar. --but this is more about the story.Sound - just great, and I want to stress the actresses diction- it's just perfect! I'm envious.Story - that one didn't work for me. The tone of the movie shifts greatly, and it rang a comedy for me in the end - it's hard, almost impossible (for me) to believe there's such a sentence and also the sentence is a bit amusing (I don't mean any disrespect!) The "oral offenses" are not quite oral, I think. The therapist in one room alone with four offenders - I couldn't quite believe it too. Overall it adds up to Very Good. There goes the importance of the story - I guess filming is all that matters then:)
Kirk White (Level 5)
I think this works better than the original script. It has a great creepiness to it...I can feel the satire in this film that was missing from the original script...very good revision. I think the pacing is a bit slow and could probably use some tightened editting to build tension. GREAT bit with the phone call at the end!
Komal Bagga (Level 1)
Well made film, kept me attentive the whole time. Good acting, camera, editing and direction. everything works well together. the script however, though well written, was average, so that the story is not very special and will probaby not really stay with me. It has however achieved its purpose of telling a story, which is well understood.
KP Mackie (Level 5)
An attention-getting film. Opening with the four inmates really sets the tone; these guys look quite menacing. A terrific visual detail to dress them all alike in orange jumpsuits. There is an authentic feeling from the get go. The flashbacks representing the crimes committed are well done. The locations are interesting and they provide a distinct contrast to the nondescript room where the doctor's meeting takes place. Particularly impressed with the acting in the bedroom scene by the character Steve and his two boys. Hard to watch the oldest boy lean away from his screaming father and the youngest hide his face in the bed covers. Blood spitting from inmate Chris's mouth serves as terrific punctuation. A cohesive movie. Excellent.
Margaret Avnet (Level 4)
I didn't expect the ending, which is a good sign of a screenwriter. I like how the director used the flashback in describing each of the prisoners offenses. The casting was also done well. I can see where all four men might be in prison.I don't understand why the rehabilitation that is being used is to cut out their tongues, especially since each of the men have committed different offenses. How does one rehabilate a rapist or someone who places a bomb in a school by cutting out their tongues?
Margaret Ricke (Level 5)
I never read this script, so the story was a surprise... And I liked it!It played a little dark on my computer. I'm not marking down for that, just wanted to mention it.I read the script and I liked the room you described there better than this one, but we make do sometimes. I'm wondering if you dressed the wall behind the men or it already had the streaks and finger smears. Either way, it was a nice touch. The actors actually look like criminals... They've each got the attitude down, at least.Good work.
Marko Trcic (Level 2)
I do not know really, watching the movie I did not feel anything special, the actors are unconvincing, their facial expressions are absent, you may not know is that the director wanted to achieve, editing is fine, but most importantly I felt the atmosphere, the music I do not fit into the story
Marnie Mitchell Lister (Level 5)
Nice acting Jeannie. And I saw there were a couple more Sconzos in the film too. :)I liked the reveal at the end. Great creepy vibe! Nice work team!!
Martin Jensen (Level 5)
This film had an appropriately grainy look. I really liked the ambient music. The flashbacks worked really well. I think the voiceover at the end should have been delivered slightly differently, as that character reveals the final twist. Excellent.
Martin Lancaster (Level 4)
This has a lot of potential. the atmosphere is good but I felt the story was lacking something. I just didn't understand it, both in the film and in the script. The revelation that they had been orally castrated just didn't resonate. It was more confusing than shocking. I don't understand what value that kind of punishment would have. And it seemed odd that a woman dressed in a short skirt would be alone in a room with four unrestrained prisoners.Technically this is pretty well made and the acting is solid. The audio has quite atrong hiss in the rehab scenes and the dolly shots are a little shaky.Overall, not bad, but the story wasn't clear enough for me.
Matias Caruso (Level 5)
Oh those inmates look scary. Good casting and acting.I'm a bit confused about some of the plot points. They cut this inmmates' tongues off? Is this some sort of cruel/dystopian future? The punishmen would "make sense" for the guy calling schools to make threats... But why cut the rapist's tongue? Wouldn't it make more sense to cut off his dick?When the doctor is informed she's in the room with the orally castrated guys, there's a sense of dread on her face and the score gets a bit tense and creepy. This all suggests that something bad is about to happen... But what? I assume she would just have to apologize and go to some other room. Or maybe I missed something...
Matthew Fettig (Level 5)
I find parts of the concept unbelievable but the film was well made in it's limited environment.The premise is unrealistic in the sense that these offenders would behave so politely in this circumstance. I think the sound was fine, there was no score, and the editing was fine with the limited options presented in the script. Likewise, the directing was limited by the script in my opinion. The actors weren't given much to work with other than the facial expressions, which were sufficient for what was presented, but lacing in reality for the premise of the story.Good quality but lacking in substance for my taste.
Michael Hughes (Level 4)
I thought this was put together well. Nice twist, but I think the crimes the writer chose for his characters did not fit as nicely with the punishment as was needed for that twist to really hit you. For example, I didn't see how the crime for the rapist was an oral one. (unless all he did was kiss the girl who said "no"...in that case, would he be in prison?) The punishment did fit nicely for the man who verbally abused his kids.The bomb scare inmate sure looked twitchy enough to find other ways to send bomb scares even without his tongue.I think what made this work was that you always see inmate pyschology sessions in which nobody wants to speak. This one had entirely different reasons for the silence.
MJ Hermanny (Level 5)
What great looking character actors you've got there and what a shame none of them speak. I didn't remember the script so was anticipating speech from them and was really disappointed.When the actress first came on my immediate thought was - 'I recognise her, what have I seen her in'.! Ha - made me laugh when I saw the credits. Well done Jeannie for getting this made.The visual quality of this is great, it looks expensive - that really rich, warm glow to it and I love the set design- the vile nicotine stains dripping down the wall - really gross and effective.The acting from the guys is great, they're all so watchable because of such interesting faces.I found it hard to hear you and had to keep adjusting my volume but then that gave me a hiss - could be my computer but it hasn't happened on any of the other films.I like how you kind of futurised it by having the red glow on her ear and then the phone call informing her ratgher than someone else coming in.What doesn't work for me is the overall tone of the piece. The short skirt seems incredibly unecessary and makes the character instantly seem like a bimbo and a dumbo. No psychologist would wear a skirt that short and ask to be left alone with four intimidating convicts. This gave the tone a kind of comedy edge which wasn't really foloowed through and doesn't fit with the punchline.What she says to the men is also really off and was picked up in reviews for the script - the character is not authentic and the fact that she doesn't already know they've had the op is extremely unreal.Overall it looks great but the story just doesn't work.
Nickolay Kolomilskov (Level 2)
Firstly congratulations on the completion of this short film. A couple of things wich stood out for me; the punishments seemed a bit harsh for their crimes however a really unusual and differerent take on rehabilitation. I enjoyed watching this and especially liked the twist at the end. Again congratulations on this achievement.
Paul De Vrijer (Level 5)
Well, this was pretty pointless. The entire build-up to this made absolutely no sense,why is this suddenly such a twist? I don't get how this changes anything. There is the fact that they have no voices anymore, so they couldn't have answered, but I really dont know how that's going to impact the story.Well shot by the way and nice use of flashbacks.Wife's thoughts: this isn't a twist, it's just a change in circumstance. There's no added implication, just a misunderstanding. It's as if Bruce Willis WASN'T a ghost, but a ghoul. There's no point to the 'twist'. Besides that, too many characters, too little time to really go beyond obvious emotional twist. The flashbacks were all right though, filmed better than the overall set. The actors were really well cast though. The clothes on the female were a bit too much. We get that she's not threatened by these men, but this is overdoing it. Draws away attention.
Paul Williams (Level 5)
I like the modifications to the original script. It's almost a different story. I would've liked if you posted the re-write to this so I could read it after watching and maybe catch some things I missed while viewing.I love the futuristic themes and the "Confederation of Southwestern States," which is probably the direction America is going in.As with the original script, I have my reservations about "oral castration," but this is fiction, so it gets a pass.I really liked the different shots, like through the security camera. It made it feel more authentic.Very Good!
Philip Whitcroft (Level 5)
That's a great simple concept done really well. The start is ominous, the camera angles are interesting and vary well. The flash backs are tight and effective. And to finish the end delivers a real punch, with the voices over the end credits adding a nice touch.
Rich Keel (Level 4)
I enjoyed this overall. I don't know if I liked the ending or not. I saw it coming but would've liked to see something more. The whole cutting off their tongues and "oral offenders" just seems so made up and unreal. Maybe if the setting looked futuristic or the film was set at a later date and time it would've been more believable. Like when her earpiece lit up...that looked like something not of this day and age...but everything else looked like the present. Does that make sense? :)Shooting wise I thought everything was very well done. I especially like the shot of the 3rd inmate before he calls the school. Very cool looking shot. The Rapist villian did a fantastic job with his character with and without lines.Good work overall!
Robert Newcomer (Level 4)
They certainly collected a nice rouges gallery of thugs, though I am not sure how realistic it is to have a woman alone in such tight quarters with these men.As I was thinking how ineffective she was as a therapist, it occurred to me that something more might be going on, and the twist did deliver a nice enough payoff.But the payoff suffered from the same problem of the original scenario, closing her up in this tiny room with these guys, and that was suspension of disbelief. I watched the story without really getting pulled into it, and I was amused by the twist without finding it the least bit plausible.I waffled between good and very good, and ultimately decided that it amused me enough to round up.Very good.
Sally Meyer (Moderator)
I thought the story was good. Your characters were perfect for their roles. Having them all be in the same room would have been too much, except for the flashbacks. Those worked really well.All your actors were great. The guy who spit out the blood was really scary!Nice twist and I liked that you did it by phone instead of the girl bringing it in on a piece of paper, like the script had it.Looks like the writer was the lead. Very nicely done!!
Shaheryar Ahmed (Level 3)
Cinematography: I liked the simplicty and the ambience that was created. Some of the shots could have been a little more creative. I mean the introduction or the shots of the prisoner's could have been different and much better and effective.Screenplay: I'm sorry but I did not understand it at all... Maybe its just me which I think it is. I have no clue what the ending is about. Please when you read this comment explain. Performance: They were a little over the top but not distracting at all... So a good job on that!Direction: I like the setting and the enviornment of the room. I get the chills when I see the prisoners and I feel as if I am there with them which makes it more scary. So this was the best part of all.Editing: Nothing fancy where non was required. So good on that!
Stan Tjaden (Level 3)
Was this film a noire comedy? Just a long dark joke? Shot selection was okay and film had some actions, but I had difficult relating it to the major conflict. Personally, I have to give the story in the film higher marks than the story in the script.
Teo Gonzalez (Level 4)
Very good work. I have a couple of concerns that have to do with the story: First, when the doctor tells the inmates that whatever they say will be kept confidential, the first thing I thought was "yeah, right!".That is just to illustrate that I think that the setting is not the most conductive for these guys to open up.The other detail I wnated to mention is that the ending becomes predictable when the doctor says that the inmates all have been convicted as "oral offenders". Sa soon as I heard that, I knew what was coming, and so the twist was a bit anticlimatic. Still, I have to say that the crying during the credits was pretty... disturbing (for a better word). Well done on that aspect.Things that I liked, the editing and the acting, but especially the editing. The film had long stretches of silence (!), but with excellent editing, it all felt perfectly natural. Pass my congratulations to Mark.All in all, a big accomplishment.
Tim Westland (Moderator)
PerformancesThis is a tough one, because there wasn't much to perform for anyone here. The flashbacks were all right, but other than that, they just sat there. Little emotion.DirectionI think the performances suffered due to lack of Direction. Not sure where the Director was in all of this.ScriptI remember this script. I believe I thought the twist a little contrived. I can't bring myself to believe that a mistake of this nature would occur... not without some sort of reaction from the men.CinematographyNot very good at all. Pretty much set a camera in front of someone and film. There was no depth, no gritty realism. LocationI think the location hurt this as much as anything else. It felt like a broom closet and didn't appear to be a place where an interview would be carried out.
Travis DeStein (Level 5)
I think it seemed odd that a prison would leave a therapist in a room with four criminals who aren't wearing any kind of restraints. Even if they weren't entirely violent offenders. I'm not really sure what the message here was. It seemed like everything the doc did was just a waste of time since they had already been castrated?
Valentina Reiken (Level 2)
This is a dark one. In the first scene, I thought this was going to be another funny movie. I couldn't work out where it was going for a while which was the intent.The last scene and voice over worked well.I thought the actors really suited their roles.
Wayne Morrical (Level 4)
The acting was pretty good, I thought the psychologist was good, and the guys could all pass for criminals, especially the last guy (and I mean that in a good way...). The room they were in was just too weird and kind of distracting: about the size of a closet, drips down the walls, with a sink. What was that place. Putting 4 convicts on a bench in a closet for group therapy is to hard to believe, then the dialog where she blames all the first guys son's problems on him, too unbelievable for me. The payoff did not make sense, where they were oral offenders: I can understand the guy making the fake phone call, maybe if I stretch it, the guy yelling at his kid, but the guy molesting the woman? The whole oral offender thing did not ring true: maybe it needs more setup. The cutaways to the offenses and the transitions were well done. Good job getting in and out of those, they were well framed quick and clear: nice job visually, those shots all looked like they were well thought out and executed well.
Wes Worthing (Level 5)
I think there are scenes that could have been tighter - some pauses that were too long. Clever story - it had a variety of exterior shots to enhance the interior shots. I didn't feel as if Jeannie was telling us exactly what we would then see next, so fine job avoiding deja vu. Great job casting, and realistic setting as well.
William Bienes (Mod Emeritus)
I need to watch this film again. My first reaction, I didn't care for it.I watched the film again and while I understand the reveal at the end, I didn't find it believable. Having no response from the four criminals/patients as they are being confronted by a doctor in the manner in which she chooses to confront them does not seem real to me which takes me out of the story a bit.The doctor not having knowledge of what has taken place already also adds to the incredulous nature of the film.I want more tension, more subtext, possibly having a one-to-one. I think you can easily create the mood and tone you are looking for as they interact with one another. The four to one ratio losses that intimacy and tension, in my honest opinion. Having the four of them there gives it an impersonal assembly line feel to it.The picture does not seem as crisp as it could be, it has a yelllowish hue to it, which could be what you are looking for -- I'm not sure, I'm not a filmmaker so I have no way of commenting on that aspect intelligently or with any experience. I know nothing about filters and lenses, just conveying how I saw the color.Good luck.
Comments Made After the Contest
KP Mackie (Level 5) ~ 1/1/2011 1:16 AM
One of my excellents. Interesting and entertaining.
Jeannie Sconzo (Level 5) ~ 1/1/2011 2:15 AM
Thanks much KP.I'd like to try to offer some explanations. That room is indeed a real doctor's office in my basement. The doctor that ran it has passed away and it is not in use anymore. So I thought it'd be a great place to film. The walls were originally white and that gave a very flat look. We couldn't hang any pictures cause they are not allowed in such facilities. So I wanted to find a way to make the walls have dimension. I contacted a art designer and they explained the best way for me to do it while also aging the wall. I wanted to make it look aged in that this was a building that was not kept clean/sanitary because no one that was important was staying there anyway. So I bought a paint gun and the ugliest color paint I could find and did the best I could. I brought mud in from the back yard and tried to add grime as though there may have been some rowdiness a few times going on. Well, in the end it did not look just like I wanted it to, but I tried. I agree that the room was too small for that many people. Perhaps if I lost one of the guys, it would have been better. I did react too quickly to the phone msg and that was because I didn't hear it. I was reacting to nothing. I wanted someone to read it to me, but we were short on time. That's a very lame excuse, but I could only get volunteer crew for so many hours.As far as the skirt goes, doctors/therapists wear those all the time, even on psych floors. I'm a nurse and I always think that doc is not dressed appropriately, but it happens. They also go into rooms that I believe aren't safe. My director and I went over this, as did Don and I, that's why we made sure to include the video camera shot. So that it is obvious that someone is watching/protecting, or should be, has the means to be. She does insist that the guard leave. Many asked why Julius' crime was oral. In the script, he bites off her tongue. We did not do a good job relaying that on camera. Sorry. The room they were in was tight and the crew had difficulty getting the shot I was hoping for. I wanted to push in to just her eyes as we hear her final yelp. It just didn't work out. I think we shot that more than anything else.I agree Mark did nice editing.
Heather O'Connell (Level 4) ~ 1/2/2011 11:31 AM
I thought this was well-done. I gave it a very good. :) Heather