Comments Made During the Contest

Ayal Pinkus (Level 5)

Zombie sex and the city, the title suggests a comedy for sure!

First action paragraph already has me in stitches!

Also love how you captured the voice of the Carrie character.

Forethought, maybe even consent, lol!

The word puns keep on coming and they are hilarious!

One of the funniest screenplays I've read on MP so far. Superb parody!

Brian Wind (Level 5)

Monster = ZOMBIE, VAMPIRE, MUMMY

This was written, paced and formatted pretty well, but could stand to be tightened up a bit in the descriptions.

The story here wasn't exactly my cup of tea but my wife liked that show so I've seen more episodes than I'd ever hoped to and I think this is a decent parody of it. Perhaps more dark humor mixed into the girls sex talk, but overall this was pretty well done.

Nice work and good luck!

Byron Matthews (Level 4)

Funny. If Sex and the City were actually like this then I probably wouldn't mind watching it with my wife on occasion. You're writing is pretty darn good, and the script format was clean had a nice flow to it. There's a lot to like in this story: (1) it's funny; (2) it's entertaining; and (3) it's a good parody.

Caroline Coxon (Mod Emeritus)

Would you really be able to use the theme from Sex and the City?

I've never seen Sex and the City...I'm guessing this is a spoof, written in the style of? It was professionally done.

It raised a few smiles, anyway.

Craig Bass (Level 2)

Amusing, definitely amusing. The voice over was well done, and seemed in tune with what I can remember from the few Sex in the City clips I've seen in my life. However, I think it is totally unnecessary to form this piece directly around the show. I understand that it is a parody, but I believe it could stand just as well as its own piece. For me, the play on Sex in the City only drags down a very amusing, and well written piece.

Darren Seeley (Level 3)

...and you just made page count!

I'm not the biggest fan of 'Sex and The City' or the spinoff films. But even if I was, I'd still think this parody was a hoot. I would have made Carrie's necklace of human teeth, but what you got is suffice. This one will be remembered when the votes are counted. It was a fun read, put me in a good mood.

It wouldn't shock me if I knew the scribe from another forum somewhere. I'm curious as to who wrote this.

Outstanding.

Darren Tomalin (Level 1)

Hi, new to the site so looking forward to reading and writing with you guys.
This was really very funny with some great moments. The dialogue was spot on for SATC (not that I watch it... huh... somebody told me about it...) and I laughed out loud at the end when they dragged Carrie along - could just see it.
My favourite so far!

I am sure someone has already mentioned about werewolves not being undead? - don't think it matters myself, maybe Samantha could have been a skeleton?
Bloody good work.

David M Troop (Level 4)

I thought "Zombie Sex and the City" was a clever monster spoof of the original.
I think everyone is familiar with the basic premise and the characters of the HBO comedy, so you don't have to be a fan to appreciate the humor.
The author captures the atmosphere and tone of the show, then inserts witty monster puns and situations. As a matter of fact, this would have made a great Halloween episode told in the context of a Carrie nightmare.

Again I thought the dialogue was clever and funny. I could hear the voices of the original actresses in my head as I was reading.
The plot was amusing and in keeping with the show.
The formatting was very good.

This was really well done - unlike Miranda's steak.

Overall, I thought "Zombie Sex and the City" was VERY GOOD.
I can't wait for "Starsky and Frankenstein."

Dawn Calvin (Level 5)

I thought this was a very clever twist to an old fav. You must have watched a lot of these episodes because you really did capture them and the V.O. was great! It would be a good script for Halloween SNL or something.

Even though I am not into "knock offs" I am giving this an Excellent! It should do well!

I can't wait to see how it places. Good luck!

Debra Johnson (Level 3)

I love this! I've only seen the show a few times, but know it by heart and can picture everything. This is priceless.

The structure is perfect. The description is perfect. The characters, even though already known, take on a whole new and very entertaining turnaround. I love the storyline and where you took it. Very creative and very fun.

Douglas Farra (Level 2)

It is very hard to write a review on this one so I will give you credit for confusing the hell out of me about what to say. So I guess I will just keep it short and sweet. I have watched Sex in the City plenty of times and believe you did a great job on capturing their personalities and putting them into the story. And the stroy seemed like a typical episode if they were all creatures. The only part of the story I disagree with is that they got rid of the body. Why with all those flesh eating, blood sucking monsters, did they throw him out? I did buy it, I assumed they wouldn't let it go to waste. But I guess you may have been trying to keep some morals to the characters, so okay. Overall it was kind of neat.

Elias Farnum (Level 5)

Well, what a comedic blend of horror and the show. Zombie chick romance isn't my bag, but the writing was okay. Some funny lines. You could have a recurring character. Good job.

Fred Koszewnik (Level 5)

Wow! Condratulations. You nailed this parody beginning to end. So othen, I'ver ead other people's takeoffs on known shows on Moviepoet, and they always seemed flat and lacklust. Your screenplay felt very authentic and was genuinely funny, a tough thing to do when one of your characters is eating a lover's brain. Continued good success. This one is a winner.

Gary Rademan (Level 5)

A take off on Sex and the City.

Best title so far. I really wanted to like this but Carrie's actions and character didn't seem quite right. Setup was good. Though I did wonder what the blood in the puddle was all about. In your world, zombies must be attractive a la Sarah Jessica Parker.

Greg Tonnon (Level 5)

Title - the title is perfect for this story. It tells us a little about the story and the genre - great choice.
Craft - your craft is very good, I did not find any mistakes.
Dialogue - the dialogue seemed right for these characters but I am not sure why Carrie would say "And most importantly, is it possible for a couple to make love, I mean really make love,without one of them consuming the other one's brains?" and then seemed surprised that she actually did it.
Action lines - your action lines are fine - clear and concise.
Story - the story is fun although a bit too gory in my opinion.

JeanPierre Chapoteau (Moderator)

I hope people that don't watch sex and the city get this...

'Three female friends' should be capitalized.

"or whoever you have back there" Funny

'A hard man is good to find" That was hilarious! Did you make that up or was that an actual line in Sex and the City? VERY clever.

This was good for what it was. As a Sex and the City fan I appreciated it and found Carrie's voice spot on.

As a screenplay standing alone, it was kind of cheesy, but I sense that it was supposed to be.

Good job.

Jordan Littleton (Level 4)

It was difficult enough for me to watch any Sex And The City episode, so this script was especially painful.

The story seemed like it was trying to be funny but it just never came across that way.

The dialogue was just dialogue from the show but changed slightly with some puns thrown in for bad measure.

Kenneth Hurd (Level 4)

This was really good. I liked the direction you took the story in. Your characters were all believable and your dialogue felt natural. My only comment would be that I think you should have made Miranda a ghost instead of a werewolf. While it definitely worked for the story, and would work perfectly fine as a short film, but since this month's theme was the undead, a ghost would have been more fitting, especially since everyone else was undead. That said, it doesn't harm the story in any way for her to be a werewolf, it's just my suggestion. I loved the script!

Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5)

This is very funny - I don't know the legalities behind using existing show and making it into a parody but I've seen a few, so people do make those. The ones I seen were on youtube by unknown filmmakers, so I don't know if someone will dare to buy this one from you. At any rate, I enjoyed it - the theme, the dialog, all the characters.
On the last page you have "under Miranda's direction" - a bit hard to understand/visualize. The end is not as strong as the rest of it - she can't lift a guy by herself, but still very believable. So I'm thinking it's Excellent. Maybe it'll be HMed. Maybe... Good Luck to you.

KP Mackie (Level 5)

A zombie story to love! What a hoot...
Even though it is "Sex and the City," it's imaginative and original. The Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda zombie-characters speak like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda would, considering their "persuasions." Terrific dialogue.
Love Carrie's voiceover narration. Particularly, "A young, gorgeous, sexy zombie with more money than sense..." and the moral, "...knowing that your friends will always be there for you when you accidentally make a meal of a f*** buddy's gray matter." Laughed. Out. Loud.
Finally, a story for a non-zombie lover that's familiar and visual. The mental picture of the girls whacking poor John against the door jamb, throwing him down the stairs, and heaving his body into a dumpster -- "The stiff legs stick out at an angle" -- is hilarious.
Thanks for the fun, and the breather from all the blood. Excellent.

Marnie Mitchell Lister (Level 5)

A spoof on a show I've never seen. Some of the lines were funny. I guess you'd have to be a fan of the show to really understand most of the humor. Too bad you didn't make your own original characters and apply the same story.

Martin Jensen (Level 5)

Having fashionable stars become zombies is a funny juxtaposition.

Having never seen Sex and the City, I can't comment on the accuracy of your parody, but it certainly sounds like what I would expect.

The ending was brutal and funny.

Good.

Michael Berg (Level 3)

Interesting idea. Kinda like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Not sure 4 ladies would constantly reference "you guys" to each other. They are ladies, among other things.

Carrie's dialogue was very reminiscient of the actual show, and I could picture her talking. I'd be curious to see you expand on the idea and do a 30 min "show" version.

Mike Senkpiel (Level 4)

I liked the title.

This seemed like it would be a good SNL skit or the like.

It probably would have been a lot funnier for me if I had ever seen Sex in the City. Even having no knowledge of the show other than the title, this was still enjoyable to read.

I suspect that those who know the show will appreciate it more than I, but I still thopught it very good because it was so well written and easy to read.

MJ Hermanny (Level 5)

Funny!! You nailed the characters perfectly. Samantha is just perfect as a vampire.

I wonder how this will read for people who've never seen the show though as the humour is in how well you've emulated their dialogue and speech patterns and the show's overall style.

An imaginnative tak on the challenge, well done

Olga Tremaine (Level 4)

Oh how funny! Hilarious. What a great parody. I'm sorry I just couldn't stop laughing.
Smooth fast read, well done. Very funny. It's my favorite so far.

Excellent.

Pia Cook (Level 5)

I'll give this one a Very Good. Before I go on though, I need to say that I wish people wouldn't include famous people or movies in their scripts. I have actually never seen Sex In The City. I know of it, but never seen it. In other words, I have no idea who the characters are. If I did, I might have voted Excellent on this. Maybe those who are familiar with it will...

My vote is based on solid writing and a funny story. Again, I'm sure a lot was missed by me, but I still found it funny enough.

A hard man is good to find!!! Brilliant!!!

Good luck with this one. I'm sure you'll do well. :)

Reginald McGhee (Level 0)

I can see that this movie is horror, and the part where you stated that blood splatters on Charlie’s tutu.

You don’t need to let us know that the water is pink when she attempts to remove the blood from her tutu. We know that running water can change when we’re washing something.

The setup is a bit long and I see no suspense here so far. Maybe you can trim it down a little or add suspense to Charlie and John Atlas.

On page four, Charlie’s head, which is missing, adds humor and horror at the same time.
“Oh, no, did I do that?” This is hilarious.

There are few cases where your writing contains in your screenplay. The sentence, “She shakes John, but he is, of course, unresponsive,” can be trimmed. “She shakes the unresponsive John,” would be better.

It is optional to use a parenthetical, indicating that Charlie is on the phone. I personally find this necessary in case new readers is unfamiliar with screenplay format.
The title fit the page as I read along. The screenplay was a fair read. However, I feel that the story development of the screenplay only gives us a lesion to learn, and I don’t feel emerged into the screenplay.

The screenplay is character-heavy with less important roles. It seems to me that Charlie and John are the most important characters in the screenplay. I was confused as to who Samantha was and why she was important in the scene, and the waiter.
Your writing is good and decent. The dialogue is real and believable, and the tone seems like a horror and comedy movie. I really enjoy the read. What surprised me in the middle is that you misled me into thinking that Charlie and John were making love. That is a great twist.

It's a little hard for me to rate this screenplay. Some elements are good, some fair, and some very good.

Ryan Lee (Level 3)

I'm not a fan of Sex in the City, so I don't know if you nailed the characters' dialogue down or not. But, this definitely had its funny moments. In the "funny because it makes no sense" kind of way. I thought you were gonna take a run at Sarah Jessica Parker actually looking like a zombie, but you showed restraint there. There wasn't much to this at all, but it was funny for what it was.

Sally Meyer (Moderator)

Well this was a change from the majority of the other scripts. I thought it was a little crude at times, but the story was well written and hilarious at times. I liked Carrie, she was funny. The other ladies were quite good also.

I think you can tone down the voice over. I like voice over a lot, and the endng vo was much wittier and fun than the beginning scenes, but less is more.

It was unique and I gave it a very good.

Shedric Bragg (Level 3)

Tight. Really could use some more of that script. It was pretty much a fashion show for a bit there but it was pretty interesting how each character got there intros. The story was ok but it was told very well, a good script just in time for halloween.

Steven Gulotta (Level 3)

I loved this script. I love parodies in general, but this one actually did it right. I love how this writer displays everything as being normal, with zombies and humans and vampires and other sorts all mingling together. But the fact is that it was done in a serious manner. It just made me chuckle warmly on the inside. It is sort of dark humored, which, again, rings in my heart, and I love this writer for it. I guess my only problem is that, despite actually loving parodies, I don't think that using one for contests is too good. Without the title "Zombie Sex and the City," I think this would've been great. Yes, it might be nit picking, but it's the one thing that sorely bothers me. May not to others, but for me, it does. Therefore, I give this script a four out of five.

Comments Made After the Contest

Pia Cook (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 12:16 AM

Congrats on 3rd place! Voted Very Good on this one....even though I've never seen the film/show!! :D

Sally Meyer (Moderator) ~ 11/1/2011 12:17 AM

Congrats on third place Basil.

Brian Wind (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 12:18 AM

Congrats Basil!

Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 12:20 AM

Haha, this was really funny! It's your month, Basil - first DVXuser win then this...! Congrats!

KP Mackie (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 12:27 AM

My favorite of the month. Congratulations.

Basil Sunshine (Level 4) ~ 11/1/2011 12:37 AM

Um, holy crap, wow! I been really busy and almost forgot all about this. Thanks, you guys! ;D

Michael Cornetto (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 12:44 AM

Congrats Basil! Well done.

JeanPierre Chapoteau (Moderator) ~ 11/1/2011 1:01 AM

Great job Basil. It looks like a lot of people do watch the show (even if they don't want to admit it)

MJ Hermanny (Level 5) ~ 11/1/2011 4:25 AM

Congrats Basil, this got a VG from me.

Debra Johnson (Level 3) ~ 11/1/2011 7:52 AM

Congrats! I couldn't stop laughing with this one and read it a few times.

Olga Tremaine (Level 4) ~ 11/1/2011 11:53 AM

This was so darn funny!! lol

Basil Sunshine (Level 4) ~ 11/1/2011 11:58 AM

Thanks you guys!!! ;D

I actually did watch the whole first season of Sex and the City when I was young and liked it but I eventually got very disgruntled over the blatant materialism. I haven't watched it in years. I do remember the voices of the characters pretty well though and the style of Carrie's self-indulgent musings/ramblings.

The "hard man is good to find" thing... No, it wasn't in the show as far as I know... In high school I had the locker next to a girl who decorated hers with a torn out magazine page of a guy in his skivvies (Calvin Klein style) over which she had pasted that phrase. I never asked her where it came from though I looked at it all year :S lolz

Also gee, the requirement was one undead character and I put three... and I still got criticism for throwing in a werewolf... Tough crowd!!! ;D lolz

Bryony Quigly (Level 3) ~ 11/1/2011 6:39 PM

Congrats on placing! I read Zombie Sex and the City but never got round to reviewing it so sorry about that. It was really funny, well done :)

Michael Berg (Level 3) ~ 11/2/2011 12:42 PM

Congrats Basil -- not sure how people might film this, but good job!

Margaret Ricke (Level 5) ~ 11/3/2011 1:07 PM

Nicely done, Basil!

This would be one episode of Sex and the City that I'd actually watch and enjoy. I'm sorry I didn't get to it in the reviews. Excellent work.

Basil Sunshine (Level 4) ~ 11/8/2011 10:55 AM

Aww thank you guys!!

Chris Messineo (Founder) ~ 11/11/2011 9:04 AM

Congratulations on winning Third Place. This was incredibly clever and very funny. I don't know the original show that well and yet this still made me laugh. Really well done.

Basil Sunshine (Level 4) ~ 11/11/2011 1:52 PM

Thanks, Chris! I appreciate that ;D